


Love, Alfred F. Jones.

by rrye23



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Diary/Journal, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:32:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrye23/pseuds/rrye23
Summary: Ivan commits suicide, and leaves his husband of 2 years in ruins.





	Love, Alfred F. Jones.

Dear Ivan,  
I miss you. I know you ain’t here no more, and that you decided that the world just wasn’t for you. I know all those nights that you cried brought you to this, I’m sorry i couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t save you, It’s been two years, it- it feels like twenty.. Man, remember when I used to say i was a hero? What kind of hero lets such an important person die?  
We still haven’t found your body, only your note. Dammit, I can’t read it no more! ‘cause I cried all over it. I’m still crying over it- over you, ‘cause I remember those humid summer nights that we would spend kissin’ on my bed, laying in my room. I remember that I would slowly stroke your plump sides and you would let out a small giggle, Even if you didn’t mean to.  
‘Cause I remember you being so ticklish, that it was cute. I grinned so wide and tackled you, attacking ‘ya with smooches and tickles, so badly that you would squirm out of my grasp and wiggle away, screaming,  
“Devil! Devil!”  
Because you said when I tickled you, I had the devil’s grin. That I was definitely something akin to a demon when I laid my hands on your sides. The best part would be when you got me to stop, and you would scoop me up- so outta breath, but we would still kiss like no tomorrow. (it would be very short, because you were just tickled to death.)  
I miss those days.. Oh, Ваня- You even taught me how to write your name, ain’t that neat? But, everytime i look at those commie letters- I almost choke, ‘cause I remember seeing your notes covered in those boxy characters.. I miss deciphering them and coming up with weird conclusions. I would have thought that meant bahr! I would scream about it being a commie code, too. I miss those days, and I miss you too.  
I miss you ‘cause I can't see those amazing violet eyes no more, and imagining it just leads up to foggy images and weird colors- tears, too. I miss them ‘cause they look like the moon and the stars, reminding me to shoot for that moon, but it would be okay for me to miss ‘cause I’d be sleepin’ with the stars.  
I guess the stars were you, huh? Though, I think I’m just floating in space ‘cause all of those dreams I had crumbled under my eyes. One of them was proposing to you, but.. dammit! Baby, I miss you so fucking much.. I’d do anything to see your plush lips, your ashen locks, your flushed nose and your big, warm hands.  
Look at me missin’ holding them, squeezing them reassuringly or even kissin’ them ‘cause I loved you so much.  
I still do.. God, Ivan, why did you do it? We still haven't found you- I could have fucking saved you, But, i couldn’t. I was never a hero, ‘cause heroes can save people.  
But I still couldn’t.  
Are you're happy up there?  
I hope so.  
Visit me sometime? I love you, Ivan.

Love, 

Alfred F. Jones.


End file.
